Yes, change matters. But it is not about me changing you!
I told a coachee that this was “non-directive” coaching and I was not here to supply him with suggestions he said, “Rob, that is BS.” My first thought was that I was about to experience the first loss of a client. I retorted with a standard coaching response, “Ok, I will give you suggestions, but we will do it through questions and exploration.” We shall see if that settled the matter or not.
The sweet spot in coaching is facilitating a conversation where the coachee gains his own insight, arrives at his own solution. This is the ayahuasca of non-psychotropic self-discovery. The foundational principle is that I, as the coach, am not here to change you, the coachee. The real and impactful transformation comes when you arrive at your own self-awareness and make your own decision to introduce life-changing adjustments. I am merely the facilitator of your own discovery and growth.
The coachee might think, “what am I paying you for if you won’t tell me what to do?” So, if I tell you what to do, what will motivate you to do it? You are not yet convinced. However, if you arrive at your own self-awareness and determine your own best solution, you will change and you will grow. That is the spicy sauce of coaching.
So, no apologies. Change matters! It really does. But, instead of me changing you, it is about you discovering, exploring, growing, and deciding to change yourself. That is what you will get when you sign on to coaching with Change Matters.
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