Wow, that was a great conversation!

Have you ever finished a conversation and somebody said “wow, that was a great conversation”?  I recently had this experience with one of my adult sons. He was exploring a vocational decision and experience has taught me to hold back and not give direction. He was living out of the country at the time, and we arranged to have a zoom conversation about the decision he needed to make with respect to a change in vocation. I consciously told myself to treat this conversation like a coaching session. We talked for an hour or maybe two. All I did was ask questions. So, how would you benefit from that? What would you see yourself doing in 3 to 5 years?  How does this mesh with your life plan or goals?  Etc., etc., We wound the conversation up and suddenly he made that statement “wow, that was a great conversation”. Why was that a great conversation for my son?  Principally, because he felt seen, heard, and understood. He was the primary contributor to the communication. All I did was ask questions. The conversation was entirely about him.  Yet, it was purposeful. He obvious found benefit in it.  There was no parental coercion or implicit authoritarianism.  That day, I decided that I wanted every meaningful conversation with him to be like that. This is not the first time someone has remarked about how much they enjoyed a conversation with me.  Every time I have heard that stated it was because all I did was ask questions. The other person had free range.  They drove the conversation.  It was all about them. Welcome to coaching, where you will be seen, heard and understood!